https://slama.dev/comeback/
That shampoo also costs a fortune.
Hi, oh, I'll take some.
That's the score.
What?
What score?
My ex wants one kid in his custody, so I'm deciding which one to give him.
Sasa's in the lead so far.
What?
How can he suddenly want a kid when he never took care of them?
Well, he built a house and needs someone to mow the lawn.
Hi, mom.
Hi, Lexa.
Dude.
How was school?
Normal, failed physics.
Okay.
Oh, and the homeroom teacher says you need to come in about the torched locker rooms.
Sure.
Oh, and I lost the apartment keys.
Of course.
Your lunch is in the kitchen.
Yeah.
Hi, Sasa.
Today a career counselor came to school and said I could go to college for education.
And how long would I have to support you?
It's only five years.
Yeah, it's a drama.
But please, don't tell anyone.
They'd just make a mess of it, right?
I took two extra dumplings.
You can go.
No, I'm not hungry.
Today I dreamed about dad.
In the dream we were all together again.
Sure.
Wait, you can't just let Libor blackmail you like this.
At the divorce, the judge told me she's only giving me the kids because Libor doesn't want them and the orphanages are full.
Can you zip up my vest?
Thanks, mom.
Everyone's the architect of their own happiness.
What's going on?
I wanted to tell you that I love you very much regardless of how much you eat or what you do in life.
Great.
And what happened at school?
What do you think?
Nothing.
Sasa said you went to the career counselor.
Yeah, we did.
What did he say to Lexa?
Why do you care?
Just curious.
Same as always, that he's a career counselor, not a psychiatrist.
Poor Lexa.
Why?
No reason.
And aren't you even curious what he said to me, since we love each other so much?
So what did he say to you, Ivuska?
Nothing.
That the conservatory is a dumb idea, that I should improve my math and try business school.
Based on what he tells Lexa, he seems like a sensible guy.
And what's wrong with wanting to be an actress?
I'm the best in the school drama club.
Last time I saw you, you were playing a dog.
That was in elementary school.
It was Tyrl and we were doing Grandmother.
Who was supposed to tell it was Grandmother when you were all eight?
You should come now.
We're rehearsing the Passion plays and I'm playing Mary Magdalene.
And Sasa?
Judas.
Nobody wanted that part.
But it'll be great.
Hi, Iva.
I signed up for the drama club.
It won't be great.
I got some guy called Jesus.
I hope we'll have some kissing scene.
The hour is nigh in which the will of my father the creator shall be fulfilled.
My tearful mother, grieve not, for we must bid each other farewell.
Awesome.
What does that mean?
That you should give me those dumplings.
Here are the apartment keys.
This is the key to the back door of the pub, okay.
Give that one to Ozzak.
And please ask Iva to cover for Sasa next week at the meeting, okay.
Thanks.
God, what's going on?
Oh please, I had a weak moment, ate all the pretzels and called Libor that I'm keeping both kids.
Good for you.
He called social services on me.
So we're leaving.
For God's sake, where?
We have enough money to get to Valasske Mezirici.
Then we'll see.
I'm off then.
Wait, mothers always have it good with social services.
Not the mothers who work nights, sleep days, and believe their kids can take care of themselves.
You can't raise kids on the run.
Haven't you seen Terminator?
Wait, couldn't you just call social services and tell them everything's fine at home?
Lie to social services?
Why didn't I think of that.
I really am going through a rough patch.
Hey Mr. Ozzak, happy birthday.
Hi.
Aren't you in school?
We were supposed to visit our aunt in Valmez, but it fell through.
Weird.
I didn't even know we had an aunt in Valmez.
I need some advice.
I'm in the drama club and I'm playing some Jesus guy.
Well, Mr. Ozzak is probably not an expert on that.
Actually, I was once interested in these things.
Don't tell me you actually set foot in a church.
Of course I did.
And immediately walked back out.
I got a really nasty feeling there.
When I grabbed some wine to wash it down, they yelled at me that I'm a Hussite.
Besides, I think if they served beer there, it would attract way more people.
What exactly do you need advice on?
Well, Jesus and Mary Magdalene.
Whether they ever kissed.
I'm afraid not.
Their relationship was purely spiritual.
Spiritual.
So no making out?
I think she once washed his feet.
Great.
So on top of everything, I'll have to bring clean socks every time.
Don't you want him?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ Superstar.
I don't think he's released anything else yet.
She's coming.
Can we put stuff on your couch?
What are you doing?
Mom said we should bring our stuff to your place.
And if anyone asks, we shouldn't say anything.
Probably some kind of adventure game.
Like when she first saw Terminator.
We slept in a junkyard for a week.
Well, Simona.
So Sasa wouldn't get bored.
What's this supposed to mean?
I went to social services to tell them they don't live unsupervised in some squalid dump and that they're well taken care of.
And what did they say?
That they'll come and check.
So you want to make them believe you live in my apartment?
They said it's good I have a partner, at least Lexa won't be missing a male role model.
I'm not going to lie to social services.
Sasa, Lexa!
Auntie from Valmez called, she's feeling better, so we're going!
Wait, cut it out, isn't there any other option?
There's the creep from the third floor, he offered himself, if I let him sleep on the cot with Lexa.
Mom, but today we have to go, we have the rehearsal for the play.
Suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not, for of such...
Is the kingdom of God.
I studied that for seven hours.
Lexa, but that part was cut.
Fine then.
So we don't have to go today.
Hopefully her health will hold out for a few days.
Or weeks.
They said up to three months.
Great, today we're rehearsing the Last Supper.
Great, so we'll eat there.
Great.
For the last time, Sasa plays Judas.
But you'd be a much better Judas.
He found out Judas kisses Jesus and wants to switch casting.
It can't be taken off at home.
Is something wrong?
You always look like this when you're about to give a speech about hard times ahead.
Oh, can I listen too?
Mom hates this stuff so she always writes it on the fridge and hides in the pantry.
I'd like to talk to Iva alone first.
Dad called social services on us.
We have to pretend we're one family with the Pacovskys, or you'll end up in a children's home.
Switch the nameplates on the doors.
Go after him.
Dad?
Any questions?
Do you know how I can get this off?
Ouch.
Thanks, mom.
Sasa will sleep with Iva in her room, Lexa will set up the cot, and Simona won't come until morning, so we don't need to worry about her.
I'm not sleeping with Sasa.
You meant to say with Lexa?
I meant to say with Sasa.
Iva...
Everyone knows you review your school material in your sleep.
I'll never forget that school trip.
Names of Czech rulers.
Those were dates for history class.
And I ended up getting an A.
Then you'll sleep with me, like when you were little.
Great, and I'll go back to the therapist because of those dreams about a dying elephant.
I snore a little, big deal.
Then sleep with Ozzak, nothing ever wakes him up.
Ozzak will have to sleep on the couch because his room is our weak spot.
Why?
The social workers might think we have an illegal dump in there.
We need to somehow barricade that room.
Hi.
Isn't our weak spot actually Ozzak?
That's fine because Simona told social services we're taking care of a mentally handicapped cousin named Igor.
I'm curious who's going to explain to Ozzak that he can't go in his own room.
Simona.
Sure.
Ozzy Osbourne really called and said he can't go in his own room?
That seems weird to me.
Normally bro just calls to tell me to clean the basement.
But it's nice having a buddy, huh?
One more then.
If only everything in life were this simple.
Cool guy, that Jesus.
They nailed him to a cross, he survived and came back like the Terminator.
I probably don't have the whole thing.
Now there has to be the part where he goes to kick Judas's ass.
Because I'm pretty sure it was him who betrayed him.
Judas hangs himself and dangles till the end of the show.
And there's a terrible draft on his feet.
Damn, read the key passages.
Okay, so Judas is taken care of, but what about the others?
Pilate.
Lexa, it doesn't go further.
I don't get it, if it was really that successful, why didn't someone make a sequel?
So how's it going, kids?
Not great.
Lexa is rambling and Sasa is whimpering.
Blessed are the wombs that never bore, the breasts that never nursed.
But I really don't get why I have to talk like an idiot.
Nobody here does.
Come on Iva, don't be nasty.
Is it really that hard to be nice to your friend?
Lexa isn't my friend and he's never lying around in my living room founding new religions.
Oh come on, what kind of people would we be if we couldn't help each other out?
I'm going to bed.
Me too.
Not anywhere else.
Don't worry, now that we're grown-ups, I'm not scared.
Good night.
Night.
Twenty.
Twenty-one.
Twenty-two.
Lexa.
Lexa, wake up and go to my room.
Iva, finally!
Judas is counting silver coins and I can't fall asleep.
So no sex?
No, get out!
Three, four, five.
Jesus, I don't have a bed.
I can reach the ceiling.
Uncle, be quiet.
Ivuska, I excelled myself.
This place is a disaster.
Sorry, I forgot what I promised big Ozzak.
Are you sleeping on the couch?
No, you're sleeping at dad's.
But I'll clean the basement tomorrow.
And who sleeps on the couch?
And why?
Because of Judas.
And why can't Ozzak sleep on the cot?
You'll see.
I forgot that Ozzak can't fall asleep any other way.
I don't want to be here.
There's an elephant here.
Dad, there.
That's Ozzak.
You must be able to figure this out by now.
Hold on, hold on.
Leave it, dad.
He doesn't want me anymore anyway.
I can't fall asleep.
There's way too much light from these white walls.
Turn the TV back off.
And put it where?
Figure it out.
Kids, I'm home.
Tomas, how are you managing here?
What?
How did you get in here?
I don't know.
It's nice in here.
I'll just lie down.
Good night.
What's that walking around?
How are you without the orphanage?
I had a terrible dream.
Some people were chasing me from one room to another.
I was rescuing elephants.
This isn't going to work.
We need to get organized so Ozzak doesn't have to sleep in the bathroom.
I'm calling Simona to say I want my room back.
She's sleeping now, don't bother her.
I'll make a new sleeping plan.
I already have a solid foundation.
Great.
Let's go to school then.
Sorry, excuse me.
I got up on time but fell asleep between the bedsheets.
We'll discuss everything later, I'm just going to the storage room.
But Ozzak's already sleeping there.
How come?
I tried to wake him but he said it's all Simona's fault.
We had quite a wild night.
Well, not that kind of wild, as you might think.
I left a bit of a mess in the bathroom, but Sasa will clean it up.
Well, the first time didn't go so smoothly.
Look, next time we need to communicate better.
I'm too old for these nighttime escapades.
And I'm old school at that.
But we can't do this all night.
What about the kids?
What about them?
They fell asleep on the landing on the way to school.
They'll get used to the chaos and so will you, you'll see.
Bye then.
Do you have sleeping pills, Marcelka?
Hail, master and lord, accept this kiss from me.
Begone, you cruel betrayer!
What?
She's been saying for three days it can be changed to a kiss on the mouth.
I am Jesus, does anyone have a problem with that?
No.
Lexa, you've lost it.
I'm done with this!
The only one who kisses me is my sister, and when I finally got clean socks, she washes my feet.
I'm done with this too!
I just walked down the street in costume and some nun spat in front of me.
Why can't I play someone people actually like?
Jesus, I'm also not thrilled about playing a prostitute who washes men's feet.
But the dress rehearsal is tomorrow.
I'm going to bed.
And what about your plan for a peaceful night?
I'll take this, lock myself in the bedroom, and you do whatever you want.
That's exactly what mom would say.
It's some Croatian medication and supposedly works very fast.
So if you need anything...
I need this to be over.
Dad?
I think it's already working.
Right, I'm taking the room.
Good morning, Krakorova, social services.
You must be Igor.
Do you have any supervision here?
You slept here?
Good God.
Good morning, Krakorova, social services.
I'm looking for Simona Buckova.
Simona is still at the pub.
Are you her partner?
Boy, you're really out of it today.
May I ask where you're coming from?
Jesus, from the pub, what kind of questions are these.
Good morning.
Mrs. Buckova.
Good morning.
Krakorova, social services.
It's even worse than I expected.
Your children are so deprived of a male role model that they're gluing on beards.
And secondly, you come home from the pub in the morning, your partner with you, and you lock your mentally handicapped relative in a closet unsupervised.
You were in the closet?
Not yet.
So who is your partner then?
This man or this poor fellow?
Mrs. Krakorova, I work as a barmaid in a very dangerous establishment.
And my partner, out of concern for my health and safety, spends my work hours there with me.
You know, darling?
And Igor here sleeps in the closet only when he wants to.
You like the closet, don't you, Igor?
I can, I can.
And the children, I just sent them to perform some religious play.
Kids, perform a little bit for us.
Oh, dear mother, be not afraid.
Your dear son bears the cross himself.
Before him and behind him walk the executioners.
You can't keep him safe.
You should have written on that questionnaire straight away that you're practicing Christians.
That would have put things in a different light.
We're Hussites.
Well then, let's go sign the paperwork right away.
I won't keep you.
The play is sure to be wonderful.
Well yeah, except he doesn't know a single line.
I know one.
Yeah? Which one?
Father, father, why hast thou forsaken me?
Don't worry, children's opinions don't matter to us.
That was lucky that Krakorova has a soft spot for Jesus.
It doesn't matter anymore anyway.
So Libor didn't give up?
Oh he did, he gave up.
When he found out how much a kid costs per year, he got a sheep instead.
Baa.
Just in case.
Zoran's pills!
Are you alright?
Yeah.
Now I am, but does Zoran take these often?
They say, since he completed that anger management therapy, at most once or twice a day.
What?
Aren't you ever afraid of him?
At most once or twice a day.
Right.
Hail, master and lord, accept this kiss from me.
You have betrayed me with a kiss.
We shall never abandon Jesus!
Love wins!
Marry me!